ATTEMPTING THE BRAVEAUX-ish LIFE

Before I go down the rabbit hole in my frustration about the vote from the Southern Baptist Convention this week pertaining to women in pastoral positions and removing churches from the SBC as a result of that vote, let me say this: I am SO THANKFUL that when I get to heaven, walk the streets of gold, and have tear stained eyes at the very sight of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I am never going to be asked if I am Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Catholic, Episcopal, Presbyterian, or any other religion. I am thankful God is not religion, only man.

This past week, the Southern Baptist Convention met in my city. My favorite city. My hometown. The city that I love above all others, New Orleans. The number one topic of discussion, debate, and headline news: Is it BIBLICAL for women to be pastors?

The scripture at the root of this debate comes from two verses. I have heard 1 Timothy 2:12 and 1 Corinthians 14: 34 -35 more times than I can count. Interestingly, Paul, the author of both books, also tells women not to wear gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, and men not to use anger­–none of which are ever preached on, debated, or the cause for removal from a religious organization.

We’ve all heard a host of reasons as to why some feel women cannot be pastors: women are too emotional, women might tempt men with their bodies, women have menstrual cycles, women cannot handle the workload, a woman’s voice is too soft, how can women have children if they are a pastor, and, my favorite, men may leave the church if a woman is in charge. These answers reveal that the majority of objections people have about women preachers and pastors are not rooted in scripture, but rather stem from mankind’s own assumptions about gender.

Even if one does truly believe that women should not lead churches, the way the entire vote came to life should be taken personally by every single Southern Baptist woman. The executive committee for the Southern Baptist Convention is made up of 86 members: out of those 86, there are 13 white women and 2 black women. The panel that brought the discussion to the floor of the convention center in New Orleans the day the amendment went to vote was a panel made up of entirely men. Furthermore, the two churches (Kentucky’s Fern Creek Baptist Church and Rick Warren’s – PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE guy–Saddleback Church) that were expelled from the SBC because they refused to remove women pastors from their staff brought an ingenious statement to the panel and committee: “No one is asking any Southern Baptist to change their theology! I’m not asking you to agree with my church,” Warren insisted, reading from a printout at a microphone on the floor of the convention hall during a three-minute speech. “I am asking you to act like a Southern Baptist, who have historically agreed to disagree on dozens of doctrines, in order to act on a common mission. We agree on 99% of things and this is the issue that you kick us out on.”

Several male Southern Baptist preachers have publicly stated they will leave the SBC if women are voted in as equals and allowed to carry the title of paster. HERE, IN ITSELF LIES THE CORE ISSUE. In our society today, we are treading water with our mentality of problem solving and communications. Instead of pastors saying, “We agree on the MAIN THING. Jesus Christ SAVES LIVES. Pull up a chair and let’s have discussion”, some pastors threaten to take their Bible and go home. My way or the highway.

Moving on, at a breakfast this week hosted by one of the most influential new groups to rally their camp, the Conservative Baptist Network, founded in 2020, speakers urged attendees to vote against women in church leadership, and to also institute poll watching and voter mobilization programs at their churches for local and national elections. An evangelist Marine declared that America needed “real men” and railed against “all this trans stuff,” to great applause. “They are trying to make sissies out of our boys, and they are trying to make boys out of our girls,” the Marine, Tim Lee, said. This is a statement I actually agree with and can discuss at another time, but it has absolutely nothing to do with females being qualified and encouraged, by Scripture, to lead churches.  Southern Baptists needed women “working in our churches” Mr. Lee said, speaking directly to women. “We just don’t need you to be the pastors of our churches.”

Many within the denomination fear that ascendant secular values are restructuring family life, children’s education, and personal identity. They worry about their denomination’s shrinking size and cultural stature; however, this identity crisis is fresh. The broader debate in schools, legislatures, and consumer culture over women’s roles, men’s roles, and the roles of transgender people is prompting some evangelicals to assert their standards about the roles of men and women in society. Once again, women are punished for a much larger issue men cannot control.

Let’s pretend for a moment that scripture, not sexism and current culture influence, is at the root of the issue. The Bible has more to say about women in leadership positions that seem to be forgotten when referencing 1 Timothy and 1 Corinthians. Here are just a few examples ROOTED IN SCRIPTURE:

“They told all these things” (Luke 24:9) Did you know the very first Christian preachers were all women? In all four gospels, women are the first to learn of Christ’s resurrection when he appears to them, and they are the very first people to share this news with others. Depending on which gospel you read, the first proclaimer is either Mary Magdalene (Mark 16:9-10 and John 20:17-18), Mary Magdalene and the other Mary (Matthew 28:8-10), or Mary, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and others (Luke 24:9-10). The VERY FIRST TIME the story of the resurrection is told, it is proclaimed by a woman. IF WOMEN HAD “KEPT SILENT IN THE CHURCH, THERE WOULD BE NO CHURCH!” The role of a pastor is evangelism, vision, and communication shown by these women.

I will conclude here by saying that I’ve occasionally heard people attempt to argue that the rarity of female leaders, disciples, preachers, and deacons in scripture is proof that God intended those positions to be for men — as if a precious few women got the gig only because the men wouldn’t take the job when they were supposed to. The fact that any women at all were leaders, disciples, preachers, and deacons in the midst of a patriarchal society that didn’t value women as equal contributors is proof that God’s call on women could not be deterred even by a culture that didn’t readily accept women’s gifts.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

15. Focus on the fact that this investigation’s approximate cost is going to be $200 MILLION DOLLARS… yes, $200 MILLION… for a $130,000 non-disclosure agreement. THINK ABOUT THAT, TAXPAYERS…. IT’S OUR MONEY!!! You can’t fix stupid.

14. Focus on the fact that Russia and China are dating and it’s not the Tinder and Bumble type of dating. It’s the putting a credit card in, writing actual, full sentences in your profile, and looking for a life partner type dating.

13. Focus on the fact that once this genie of indicting politicians for crimes seven years ago is out of this bottle, she will never, ever go back in. You think Congress gets nothing done now… just wait! Nancy is in charge and she’s guns blazing to indite Trump. McCarthy is in charge and he’s guns blazing to impeach Biden because Hunter has a cocaine, hooker, and stupid problem. (And, YES, I don’t care about Hunter either!) Neither the indictment/ impeachment/ life in prison sentence of Trump, Biden, Hunter, Clinton, Nixon, or Abe Lincoln makes my children’s lives better in any way whatsoever. It makes it worse because REAL PROBLEMS continue to not be solved.

12. Focus on GEN Z. They may be our hope. Gen Z is 1997 – 2009. There’s something empathetic and calm about this group. Gen X (Ted Cruz) is no nonsense. We were raised by WW2 grandparents and Korean and Vietnam parents. Our way is the best way and only way AND you’re stupid if you don’t do it that way. We’re money driven and ambitious and unapologetic for it. Our foundation is God, country, freedom, football, anything fried, and if a woman is raped the logical first question is “what was she wearing?. Then came the millennials (AOC) with their fickle loyalty, demands of seats at the table straight of college, the complete rejection of religion because it “places them in a box”, and always having to have a LABEL on themselves so everyone knows what they stand for. But, then someone actually labels them and then they’re pissed because someone thinks they can only be one thing. So, they become neither boy nor girl, and some become cats. Gen Z has somewhat found that sweet spot in between these generations.

11. Focus on the fact that we failed our children in allowing leaders to shut down their schools, which has resulted in a 34% decrease in literacy/ comprehension and a 29% decrease in math. The average ten-year-old child LIVING IN POVERTY went from a 59% chance to a 70% chance of being UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND BASIC WRITTEN TEXT. Focus on how to be a part of that narrative and solution to create children with HUMAN CAPITAL. Only children who have knowledge, skills, mental, spiritual, and physical health, adaptability, and resilience are the children that can grow up to compete in the work force, impact society, and change the world.

10. Focus on the fact that since the beginning of time, young, ambitious, eager men and women who cannot solve real problems of implement strategic improvements in which they were hired to do ALWAYS seek their success at the expense of someone else. We are surrounded by leaders who do not know how to solve actual problems. We are surrounded by weakness.

9.  Focus on the fact that there is a HUGE difference between actually doing time for the crime and just taking the ride. More importantly, the latter is all some need. FOCUS on what they don’t want you to focus on.

8. Focus on the fact that somewhere in our world right now someone is plotting our children’s next school shooting. I don’t have the crystal ball answer on how to stop these tragedies, but I know for a fact no school shooting solutions are going to be discovered while discussing the 45^th President of the United States being indicted.

7. Focus on the fact that the middle class is disappearing. Are you rich? Are you poor? We’re a short time away from one of those two being your only choice. Increased taxes, increased insurance premiums, increased pharmaceutical costs, increased taxes, increased childcare costs, increased daily living costs, increased education and trade school costs, and, again, increased taxes leave very little for the middle class to invest, create, or save to build comfortable wealth.

6. Focus on the US dollar continuing to drop. There’s never been global reserves of money in any currency except the dollar UNTIL NOW. Global reserves are now diversifying reserves in the euro, pound, and yen. You know who wins when the dollar has decreased value? THE SUPER RICH. US corporations, products, and services are more attractive oversees. Since the cost of foreign commodities increase with a weak dollar, small businesses lose the opportunity to compete against the large chains. When small businesses close, large businesses increase costs because they have eliminated competition. The ALREADY rich do very well with a weak dollar and continue to get richer. The largest worry about a weak dollar is it always leads to an increase in oil and gas prices. Pay attention to the pump. Speaking of oil, YESTERDAY, 4/3/23, Saudi Arabia unexpectedly announced they would cut production by one million barrels per day beginning at the end of the month. What happened? The market immediately responded today with a TEN PERCENT increase per barrel at the end of trading. AND, GUESS WHAT? That’s not even the most important part. Saudi Arabia is becoming bosom buddies with Iran and growing increasingly closer to CHINA. In my opinion, it’s quite obvious that Saudi Arabia sees their economic future and safety in the EAST, and no longer the WEST; however, we still continue to give THEM TAXPAYER’S DOLLARS every month.

5.  Focus on the fact that in 2020, the global pharmaceutical manufacturing market was valued at 405.52 BILLION US dollars. As of a quick google search fifteen seconds ago in 2023, the same global pharmaceutical manufacturing market is valued at 1.45 TRILLION US dollars.

4. Focus on the fact that indicting Trump will never solve crime, prescription drug costs, education, border concerns, illegal drug problems, homelessness, gun laws, abortion laws, LGBTQ hate crimes, racism, or issues with our policeman, military, and veterans. It solves nothing. It simply will just make some people HAPPY. Grow up. Get a life and see a therapist as to why you’re so miserable with your own life that you have to focus on someone, and something, so insignificant. You’re the definition of misery loving company. And, YOU’RE the problem.

3. Focus on fighting for a third, fourth, and fifth political party. There is no democratic or republican party anymore. There is the party of moron #1, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the party of moron #2, Marjorie Taylor Greene. Where are the Ronald Reagan republicans? Where are the Bill Clinton democrats? EXACTLY. They are chickens. They’re scared to death if they say anything, they’ll be cancelled by one of the two idiots previously mentioned who couldn’t find the country of Dijbouti on a map if their one issue pro-abortion and anti-trans lives depended on it.

2. Focus on the fact that ONE MONTH AGO, President Chi met with President Putin for THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS! They met for one reason and one reason only and that is to devise their plan of action on how to defeat the United States of America. They will go after each other once we are out of the way, but for now, they share the same goal when it comes to America. NOTHING you care about, nothing you fight for, nothing you protest for, nothing you pray for, nothing you wish your children to have better than you matter if that plan ever comes to fruition. NOTHING.

1. Focus on Passover and Easter this week. Focus on the fact that there is something much more important that deserves your attention and peace this week. Focus on your families. Focus on your neighbors. Focus on strangers. Focus on smiling. Focus on realizing that hating someone with such extremity is a much bigger issue than anything Donald Trump or Joe Biden ever did.  Focus on the fact that your future- and your child’s future- is much more important and valuable than these capricious, inconsistent, and exhausting political stunts that NEVER END because we become part of the narrative. Focus on being a voice, not an echo. Focus on turning the channel.

The few days between Christmas and the new year are always one of my favorite times of the year. Time slows down. My surroundings become less chaotic. My children play with their Christmas goodies, chill, and relax. There’s no schedule, no appointments, no practices, no meetings, no carpool, and time moves at a pace I relish. I nap… a lot. I live in my pajamas. I bake simply because I enjoy it. I read an actual book.

Like millions, it’s also a time I like to take to reflect on the past 360 days and to excitedly await the possibilities of the ones to come. One of the skills I have perfected over the past twenty years is the ability to forget. I do not live in the past. I have regrets- plenty of them, and I’d question anyone who tells you they have none; HOWEVER, even with my ability to not let my yesterday affect my tomorrow I completely agree with Socrates when he said that ‘the unexamined life is not worth living’. The great reward in taking a few moments to review one’s life is it gives one the opportunity to always improve and live one’s best life. Why be here on earth and put up with all the garbage that life throws at us if we’re not going to fight to make it worthwhile? Here’s the thing with trying to live one’s best life: it doesn’t just happen. One must be purposeful, mindful, and willing to fight for the life they desire. Below, are the 22 things I am going to focus on making priorities in my life for the upcoming year. They do not include the government, the CDC, buying a tiger, or arguing over those who wear masks compared to those who don’t wear masks with those who are not vaccinated compared to those who are on their 3^rd booster shot. I hope- for your sanity and happiness- your new year is not focused on those items either.

22. I want to stop getting distracted by things that have absolutely nothing to do with the finals goals I desire for my life. This means I will have to begin saying “NO”. This is going to be a nightmare for me… I suffer from a severe case of FOMO.  

21. I want to wake up each morning and just decide to be happy. I want to stop waiting to see how my day goes to determine if I’m going to be happy that day or not.

20. I want to be first in line at Taco Bell if this rumor turns out to be true that their Mexican pizza is returning. 1998 late night runs here I come.

19. I want to be as excited about JUST ONE THING as my six-year-old son is about everything he participates in. John Michael says “this is the best of my life” more times in one year than I have said in my 41 years of existence.

18. I want to move more. I want to move to thank my body for still moving, not as a one-hour punishment at the gym each day.

17. I want to remember that looks fade, money goes, but humor is everlasting. And, I want to surround myself with people of that same mindset.

16. I want to always remember that disagreement a is 100% acceptable, but that disrespect is 100% unacceptable. I’ve lost a few good friends over the past two years because of politics, Covid, and our extreme difference of opinions of them both. At the end of the day, it wasn’t much of a friendship, I suppose if it dissipated that easily; however, they are still people I wish the very best for and will always treasure the wonderful times we had together.

15. I want to be more punctual. God help me on this one. God help me. He’s my only shot.

14. I want to hold myself accountable to the fact that, even at 41, the way I treat myself is the standard for how I allow others to treat me.

13. I want to remind myself that my husband is not boring just because he is a man of routine, military bred, older, frugal German that has an opinion on everything and that opinion is the only correct way to do anything. I want to remind myself that his boring routine is the steadfast, constant flow that keeps our family moving. He is the safety net that brings me and our three children the security of knowing at the end of the day we are safe, we are loved, and we are together in all we do. I want to remind myself that his grumpy arms that insist on going to bed at 8:30 are the firm foundation that brings me such peace and assurance when I am wrapped in them. I want to remind myself that my marriage is not a Romeo and Juliet love story because Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. Romeo and Juliet is a three-day relationship between stupid teenagers that resulted in six deaths. My love story is far better than Romeo and Juliet; however, the kids and I will continue to give him a hard time in this upcoming year.

12. I want to never forget that the most powerful action I can ever perform is the act of prayer.

11. I want to stop being mad about the fact that Tito’s is not a food group and instead be grateful that champagne always will be.

10. I want to never forget that on my best day I need God just as much as I do on my worst.

9. I want to learn to calm my mind. It is the ultimate weapon for every battle I face.

8. I want to acknowledge that Covid is real, but my fear of it is not. Science does not lie. Unfortunately, some scientists and politicians do because of the opportunities they can seize during this horrific pandemic, but scientific numbers do not lie. I will always love numbers for that reason. Two plus two will always equal four. FEAR: forget everything and run or FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE. The former sounds so enticing… oh man, there are so many times I want to get in the car and start over, but for long as I can, I will force myself to choose the latter. I will be smart about keeping myself and my family safe because that is my number one job as a mother. I will control the things I can control while recognizing there is very little I can control. Love and purpose will direct my days, not fear. I pray the same for you.

7. I want to stop saying “I can’t wait for things to get back to the way they used to be.” Life never will return to the life we lived prior to March of 2020. Normal will never be what it was because life is different. We cannot pretend to forget everything’s that happened, but things can still be fun, fulfilling, significant, and meaningful. God meets us where we are to make something of our lives no matter the surroundings we find ourselves in… it’s one of His specialties.

6. I want my sweet babies and precious friends to always know that my home and I will be their place of peace. I refuse to be another battle they must fight when they walk through my door.

5. I want to remind everyone that needs to hear it how God can change your heart. I know this because He changed mine when He saved me from myself and continues to do so every single day.

4. Instead of asking myself why someone does not like me, I want to change the question to ‘why do I care?’

3. I want to stop watching the news. EVERY CHANNEL is biased, and agenda controlled. Journalism is supposed to be one of the last remaining truths. Walter Cronkite said, “Journalism is what we need to make our democracy work.” I could not agree more. The lack of true and factual journalism is the reason our great nation of America is currently in such turmoil. We have to fight harder than ever to find actual truth.

2. I want to take a really, really, really, really, long walk on the beach. I haven’t found a problem yet that I haven’t been able to solve, or at least change my perspective on, when my feet meet sand and water.

1.I want to go on record as saying I want to embrace and be thankful for whatever 2022 brings. I won’t always be successful at that, but hopefully, I will be better than I was. I will base decisions that I must make on the answer to this one question, “How does this help advance me to the end result I desire?” and when I do not have that answer, I will simply ask myself, “What would Betty White do?” If I still do not have the answer after those two questions, I’ll simply ask my amazing husband to make me one of his famous whiskey rye old fashions and I will sit. I will savor each sip. I will then get up and just keep moving forward.

Peace. Love. Stay Safe. Be well.

Thank you for reading and never stop feeding your soul.

My cup runneth over,

Lala

The closest I ever came to the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was in 2004 while in DC. It was opening night of the Washington National Opera’s 49th season. The opera chosen that night was Andrea Chenier, far from a favorite of mine; however, the four act opera about tragedy, war, love, and death was worth the evening simply because I got to see, from my cheap seats far away from the front row, Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia walk in together with their spouses and take their seats next to each other. In full disclosure, if I had chosen one of the Justices to stalk that evening it would have been Justice Scalia. When it comes to the interpretation of the law, I prefer Justice Scalia’s jurisprudence over Justice Ginsburg’s, with eight cases decided by the Court being the exception. But, the cases aren’t important to me this Sunday morning. This morning, two minima, yet unfortunately very foreign, concepts in which Justice Ginsburg lived her life is far more inspiring to me than any of her votes.

Here’s the first one. Explain to me how someone can be the VERY BEST in their class at Cornell, Harvard, and Columbia, and STILL have to scratch, claw, and crawl their way to the top. Easy. You’re a woman, you’re Jewish, and you’re a mom. These three strikes against her could have immediately made her put the apron her surrounding world so forcefully encouraged her to put on and learn how to cook that amazing casserole. Thank God she didn’t. I’m a firm believer that grit and guts are often developed out of necessity. Some people have ‘just enough crazy’ inside of them to dig their heels in deep… way deep… and refuse to quit. When I think of the 5’1″ woman born and raised in Brooklyn who will be remembered for DECADES to come for her life commitment and work to championing not only women’s rights, but human rights, I definitely think of the word GRIT. I will always respect Justice Ginsburg for her championship of humanity and interpretation of the law, even in moments of disagreement, but I am absolutely in love with her, inspired by, and aspire to make my small world a better place because of her simple, flat out refusal to quit. Perseverance is not easy, yet she was the perfect example of such a word.

When Justice Ginsburg graduated from Columbia law school, she had to have her husband’s signature of approval to apply for a credit card. Read that again. A woman who could run circles around the men running the credit cards company had to have her husband’s signature to even apply. That didn’t detour her from her purpose. That didn’t make her bitter against men. That didn’t stop her from moving forward. She took it, while refusing to accept it. She tucked it in her back pocket and used it as fuel to move forward and make a change. She didn’t fight, she didn’t yell, she didn’t burn buildings, she didn’t spit, and she didn’t name call. She worked. And she worked harder than those around her. That is why she will be remembered while others will not.

In 2008, I moved back to New Orleans to work for my father, a career I swore I WOULD NEVER even consider, much less eventually take over. By nature, I have an absolutely horrible memory; however, I will never forget my first company meeting. I got stuck in the elevator on the way to the conference room so I was late walking in. When I opened the door, I just began to laugh. A laugh I tried so hard to control, but couldn’t. Here’s why I laughed: I was one of two women in the room and one of five people under the age of sixty. Over 90% of the room were older, white/ gray haired men who looked exactly like my father. Now, I want to stop here and be the first to say, that I mean no disrespect at all in saying that. The knowledge, experience, and success of all those older, white haired men put me in a position to learn from the very best of the best. They had already forgotten more than I would ever know about the business, but it was humorous to me because that scene was every stereotype women, and lots of men, spend their entire lives fighting against. Fast forward today, twelve yers later, and still only 37 of Fortune 500 CEO’s are women. Yes, Justice Ginsburg made great strides, but there is still room for much progress. We must never stop the fights worth fighting. Grit. Perseverance. Guts.

My second point I want to note about Justice Ginsburg is far more important to me than the first. While the Justice refused to be bullied and had zero problems standing her ground, she was a kind and respectful human being. She conducted herself about partisan politics. This was never more evident that her Senate confirmation, in which she only had three NAY votes. Her work, life, and character spoke for itself. To put that in perspective, Justice Thomas had 48 NAYs. Justice Sotomayer had 31 NAYs. Justice Kagan had 37 NAYs. Chief Justice Roberts had 23 NAYs. Justice Alito had 42 NAYs. Justice Gorsuch had 45 NAYs. Justice Breyer had 9 NAYs and then the most controversial Senate confirmation of a US Supreme Court Justice in history, that of Justice Kavanaugh, who received 49 NAYs. I truly respected Justice Ginsburg who very quickly came to the defense of Justice Kavanaugh, stating, “Justice Kavanaugh is a very decent and very smart man and deserves the same fairness during these hearings as any one of us would desire.” Wow… what a concept? Actually listening to UNDERSTAND AND COMPREHEND instead of listening to RESPOND AND ATTACK. Justice Ginsburg would agree on nothing with Justice Kavanaugh when it came to the law, but she still believed he deserved to be treated like a human being, heard in his hearings, and then judged accordingly. MIND BLOWN.

In a world where there seems to be only black and white these days, Justice Ginsburg reminds me that there is a lot of gray in most areas. We all come from different experiences, different perspectives, and different values; however, it’s the destination that most of us still agree upon, and that is doing the best we can for our ourselves, our families, and our communities. I still believe the majority is good and the majority wants to leave the world a little better than how they found it. If we take a quick breath, and actually listen, distinguishing between the noise and chaos, then there’s a large chance we will understand. And, even if you can’t find any understanding or common ground with your fellow man, still walk away choosing kindness towards them. Justice Ginsburg surrounded her life with diversity, people who brought different perspectives and conversations, and people who forced her to think instead of simply reacting.

Her career’s work is extremely important and will be remembered as one of the greatest minds to ever sit in one of those coveted nine seats. She fought cancer four times. She raised two children. She still always found time to teach so that future generations of lawyers, policy makers, and activists could learn from her past experiences and words of wisdom. I’m thankful for women like her. Women who choose security in themselves, women who choose boldness, and women who choose to shatter glass ceilings by digging their Jimmy Choos in deep and doing the work that needs to be done. Guts, grit, civility, and those necklaces…. what an amazing life and an extraordinary woman. Chest out, ladies, and your favorite color lipstick on… finish strong like RBG.

Peace. Love. Tigers. Never Quit.

Laura

Happy Easter! It’s a different kind of Easter for many of us this morning. It holds a different type of meaning. It holds a different type of appreciation. I think maybe I’ve taken Easter for granted all these years. I have always celebrated Easter as Jesus’s victory over death. I have always associated Easter with the ending of winter and beginning of spring. The opportunity to begin anew. Maybe it’s because I didn’t put on my Easter dress with my white pumps (while most of the country waits until Memorial Day to bring out their white, us Southerners ALWAYS polish those babies up for Easter) this morning but,  in my moments of Mickey and the Roadster Racers blaring in the background, watching the kids dig through their Easter baskets, and thinking about the different moments of this Holy Week, I’m reminded more than ever that I’m the disciple Judas. Judas betrayed Jesus. Judas broke Jesus’s heart. Judas sold Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver. Judas was a coward. I’m Judas.

I’ve always longed to be like the disciple, John. John was the disciple Jesus loved more than any other. John never left Jesus’s side. John held Jesus’s mother, Mary, in his arms as she cried out for mercy for her beloved son. Jesus chose John to care for His mother after His death… can you imagine how special John must have been for Jesus to assign him that privilege? But, I fall so short of John. Everyday, I fall short of John because I’m a Judas. But, God still chose to die for me on that cross. The night before He was crucified, He welcomed me at His table, fed me, washed my feet, and prayed for me. He CHOSE to still love me when He knew I was going to break His heart. He CHOSE to walk the road to Calvary for me, a Judas. On the cross, He looked directly at me and asked God to forgive me because I knew not what I was doing forsaking Him the way I did.  Then, three days later, THIS DAY, THIS EASTER DAY, He arose from the grave and welcomed me with open arms. He waited to hug me and tell me He loved me, a Judas.

On this Easter Sunday morning, this COVID-19 Easter Sunday morning, I’m eternally grateful God loves a Judas. I’m eternally grateful God protects a Judas. I’m eternally grateful God forgives a Judas. I’m eternally grateful that no matter what the outcome of COVID-19 is, I will not only be okay, I will prosper and grow because I, a sinner, a Judas, a lost soul, am in the hands of the one of who holds the whole world.

Throughout history, God has been faithful to His people. He will be faithful to His people during this pandemic. He will be faithful to a Judas. If I allow Him, He will renew my hope, my faith, my strength, my mind, and my heart. He will bless my mess so, I, a Judas, can use my mess as His message. And, I firmly believe His message is this: COVID 19 is more than a physical disease. It is a wakeup call from God. It is a wakeup call to the Judas’s of the world.

We live in a world where we worship money and status. We live in a world where children cannot go to school, moviegoers to a theatre, or shoppers to a mall without the possibility of being shot with an assault rifle. We live in a world where we have refused to take care of the ground below us and the sky above us. We live in a world where over 50% of marriages end in divorce, 28 in 1,000 women receive an abortion every year, and 36% of our world’s population lives in TRUE poverty making less than $1.25 per day. We live in a world where we have allowed 4 MILLION children to become victims of human sex trafficking. We live in a world where we are encouraged to be bullies and prideful or  we are seen as weak. We live in a world where people are judged by the color of their skin before they even speak. We live in a world where people simply refuse to accept personal responsibility. We live in a broken world. We live in a world that betrays God, breaks His heart, and sells Him out for a few pieces of silver. We live in a world of Judas’s. And just like the original Judas, God never stops loving us. He never gives up hope for us. He never forsakes us. He waits for us with open arms.

Thank God, we also live in a world of John’s. We live in a world where there are people fighting the fights that need to be fought, feeding the poor, clothing the naked, caring for the sick, and loving those that have wronged them. I struggle with that last one the most. Maybe that’s my wakeup call moment I’m supposed to learn from the Coronavirus pandemic. Maybe that’s my area of improvement where I can become more like John. It won’t change every life, but maybe it could change a few. Maybe it would change mine. Maybe we could all find one area in our lives to wakeup and become more like a John. With 7.8 billion people in the world, the smallest John like change would have an enormous impact on our future.

That positive impact has already begun. We are in the middle of experiencing the biggest act of global compassion known to man. God is always working and restoring. God is weeping with us as we weep. God recognizes our feelings of hopelessness and vulnerability and is near to us in all of them. God never stops loving us. But, above all, I feel God is inviting us back to that table. He is inviting the Judas’s, the John’s, and everyone in between. It is there we will see the miraculous things He is creating for us all during this time. Be safe. Be strong. Be well.

I’ve never personally discovered a nautilus shell. They do not exist in my little piece of Gulf of Mexico paradise. But, the great barrier reef dive is on my bucket list. One day, I hope to see one up close and all the beauty, complexity, and wonder that this shell holds. For those unfamiliar with this particular shell, here’s the cliff notes version. It’s a shell that is found in the coral reefs of the Indo-Pacific oceans. When born, they have seven or eight small chambers. As they grow, a new chamber is created, but instead of shedding previous chambers, they connect to the older ones. Therefore, and adult nautilus will usually possess approximately thirty different chambers at their time of death. Oh, and my favorite part, a nautilus has three hearts.

If you’re a lover of science and math, you’ll find the nautilus fascinating because some believe it is a symbol of the Golden Ratio, meaning it possesses the same proportions throughout the animal’s life.  Some believe, this allows it to lie in the same company as the Mona Lisa, the Parthenon, the Gutenburg Bible, and some parts of the human body. I’m gonna stop right here because I’m already in territory I know nothing about. I’m not that smart. I bought my college algebra professor a 24 case of his favorite beer just so I could get out of his class with a D. I simply sell chocolate for a living, constantly watch reruns of Law and Order and have recently fallen victim to the dumbest documentary ever made, The Tiger King, which if I’m being honest, I know I’m losing brain cells every time I press ‘next episode’, but I just can’t help myself. All that to say this,  I have no clue whether any of the scientific claims are correct, incorrect, or really even what it means as a whole. I simply know this, I’ve always loved the nautilus shell because I love the way it continues to develop new chambers of it’s life while building on previous chambers of the past, thus connecting it’s life as a whole.

Yesterday, I was driving and suddenly thought of the nautilus shell. I thought of the spiral chambers that are uniform and ever evolving. I thought about how I’ve always symbolized the nautilus shell with one’s life because from the time we are born and begin to crawl, we are constantly changing, evolving, and discovering. We must move forward. Once we’ve moved forward, expanded our minds, changed our perspectives, and experienced the new, we can never go back to previous chamber. They simply no longer fit us. This forces us to always grow, expand, and learn. We cannot, no matter how hard we try, stay in one place and dodge the ever changing reality around.

Since 1980, my chambers have included childhood, surviving my brother’s beatings, being forced to listen to opera from my mother every morning on the way to school, college, September 11th, my twenties, my career, my marriage, becoming a mother, becoming a caregiver, and all the day to day blessings, trials, celebrations, and heartaches in between. Now, my life during the current COVID-19 crisis will serve as one of those chambers in this complex shell that composes my life.

Many of us, hopefully all of us, will never be same. While I long for days of “normalcy” when it comes to my family, my job, my pilates class, my Wednesday night Boulevard nights with girlfriends, and simply taking my dog to the groomer, I do hope some things during this time period remain. I hope I’m always able to remember the joy I get on  mornings when I wake up next to my baby boy. We get to lie there, smile, and converse. He pats my face life a puppy. We are not rushing because we’ve overslept, scrambling to find a backpack, forgetting to feed the dog, and rushing out the house with 17 minutes before the bell rings at school and 40 minutes before my first meeting. I hope I remember how enjoyable the simple things in life are right now. Things that don’t take money, effort, or stress. I’ve watched more sunsets in the past two weeks than I have my entire life. I got back on a bike. Not counting spin classes, I haven’t ridden a bike since high school. I color. I read. Yesterday, I dug for “crystals” with John Michael so he could find treasure. I’ve had more conversations , and one good blow out (I some can feel me), with my mother. I’ve had more non rushed, meaningful conversations with friends and family. I’ve slowed down with more meaningful prayer and time with God.

Now, don’t let this think we’re not struggling with our own first world problems. My roots in this blonde hair are starting to look like Joe Exotic’s. I want a manicure and pedicure so badly I can’t stand it. I am in a ridiculous state of sadness because I did not get to shop for a beautiful, new Easter outfit for myself and John Michael. Easter Sunday is my all time favorite day of the year that I don’t get to experience seven days from now as I normally would have. Lucky for me, though, Easter has nothing to do with my outfit. We will not get to go to our annual ‘GOODEST GOOD FRIDAY’ crawfish boil where we have the best time, laugh, eat, and have an Easter egg hunt for the kids. John Michael will not have a birthday party in two weeks for his special day. Again, first world problems. But, they’re special to me. You have things special to you. They are important. Don’t let anyone tell you they’re not.

But, most importantly, I hope I can remember this time where I called the elderly lady I know well to make sure they’ve been able to get to the grocery. Why don’t I do that on a regular basis?  I hope I can remember how I took not only first responders for granted, but the men and women at my grocery store who are still showing up to work so I can buy milk and bread- two things I never buy anyway. I don’t drink milk and I try not to eat white carbs. BUT, all of a sudden we’re told to  “hunker down” and we have to buy every loaf of bread we can get our hands on. I hope I remember next month when I’m complaining because my James Taylor concert has been cancelled that I truly have nothing to complain about because my neighbor buried her mother, who tested positive for the virus, this week with no service or friends able to attend. I hope I fill this current, COVID-19 chamber of my life with priorities that actually matter, more gratitude, more genuine laughs, more caring for, not only my neighbors, but for my community, world, and earth. I hope these small moments carry through to the next chamber and help build a better, more solid, more meaningful foundation. Hopefully, they will not drown from the Pinot Noir that also helps to fill the chamber. Be safe. Be strong. Be well. Laugh. Live. Love. And DO NOT under any circumstances use your relief refund money to buy a tiger and open a zoo. There is no life chamber large enough to hold that kind of move.

Like you, I’m trying to find things to occupy my time during our COVID-19 quarantine days. Years ago, I took a Myers- Briggs personality test and my results came back as ESTP, which stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceptive. In a nutshell, I’m a doer. I’m a Type A. So, going from a packed schedule starting at 7am and ending at 7pm to having a lot of free time has definitely been an adjustment. Considering all the variables, I’ve actually transitioned quite well- what choice do I have? Now, to the original point of this blog. I’m trying to use the time to get everything done that I’ve always said I’m going to get done but never do. I started with pressure washing. HUGE MISTAKE!

I happen to be quarantined at my mother’s beach house in Gulf Shores, Alabama..I know, poor me. I am social distancing from the rest of the world with my son, my mother, and my Aunt Ann. My 19 year old bonus baby, Emily, a freshman at LSU, is currently gracing us with her sweet presence, constant snapchat selfie updates, and conversations about “flying to Amsterdam because flights are just so cheap right now”. Yes, I know… she doesn’t get it. I didn’t get it at 19. Nor did you. Pipe down. She isn’t going anywhere.

Back to pressure washing. Salt air, sea mist, and spring pollen always brings a surface of junk that needs to be washed away. With that said, I’d never used a power washer before that moment, but I figured it was the perfect time to start.  I dug through the downstairs junk room and pulled out this little electrical machine that I figured would get the job done. It’s now 9:30am. My grand idea of having the carport, outdoor shower,  porch, stairs, pier, and back porch done by 4pm would be followed up with a shower, hammock, glass of wine and that beautiful Gulf of Mexico sunset. By 3pm, I had finished half of the carport, outdoor shower and THAT’S IT!  For a woman who prides herself on efficiency, time management, and just getting stuff done, I had been defeated. I had a four minute pity party for myself of how my entire world is crumbling around me, my business is going to take a margin line hit that will take years to recover from, my child has been uprooted from structure, security, and sanity, and I can’t even pressure wash a dang carport correctly.

I don’t do pity parties very well, or very often, so I didn’t stay in that moment long. Turns out, my inexperience in pressure washing was only part of the problem. Thank God for my tribe. Thanks to Big Mike and Joe Joe (I’m from South Louisiana so, unfortunately, I am not changing names to protect to the innocent), the very next day I had an ACTUAL pressure washer that made my poor excuse of the one I was using look like the Vanderbilt football team if they were playing LSU for the national championship.  They also sent this big, round scrub brush thingy that connects to a power washer for all your flat surface needs. Talk about something that changed my life, and my attitude. Don’t get me wrong, you will never be paying me to pressure wash your stuff. The work I did looks better, but it’s not anything a professional could have done. Furthermore, I did NOT form this “addiction” to power washing that some women on my social media page wrote about having. BUT, it made the task I was trying to accomplish so much easier, manageable, and effective. And, it made me far less frustrated. The latter being the most important in my life, especially in these stressful days we are all experiencing.

As I was sitting on the pier last night watching the sun go down, my mind racing about all the variables in my life I currently have no control over and recapping my day, I thought about how much easier tasks and projects are when we have the right tools to carry them out. I have the right laptop, the right washing machine, the right hairdryer, the right set of pots, the right CPA, attorney, and investor. But, for me, the most important “right tools” have always been the people I surround myself with. I’m a doer. I’m a big picture person. I’m an ultimate, never ending optimist. I jump in the deep end of the pool and figure out how to swim once I’m in. I live in the moment and rarely look in the rearview mirror. I am not a detail oriented person. I am not a wait and see if they call me back person. I am not make a list, weigh all the pros and cons, and contemplate it for the next 27 days type person. I am not a realist. And while I have very big dreams, I am not a big dreamer. Therefore, I purposefully seek people in my tribe who are the opposite.

I’m so incredibly thankful I have the right “tools” in my life considering our current situation of isolation. During COVID-19, I’m thankful I have a friend who helped me focus my professional “doing” towards my personal “doing”. I have NEVER had the opportunity to spend this much uninterrupted time with my son. I run a business and travel a good bit. I was back in the office nine days after my son was born via c-section. I love making up for lost time with him. I’m thankful I have a friend who reminded me how much I love to write and how I haven’t written in forever. Now’s the time. I read over half a book yesterday. I haven’t read that many pages in one sitting since I was a student. I’m thankful for a colleague, who in the midst of my tears and worry about how will we financially survive if this lasts more than a few weeks, reminded me that this is a real and dangerous threat, but we can only control the things we can control and we can’t control the timeline of this. So, when I get nervous and anxious, I need to go for a walk on the beach, go for a bike ride, watch a movie with my son, or hop in the water and kayak or swim until my arms literally fall off. Focus my attention elsewhere. I’m thankful for Aunt Ann who reminded me that if my father were here he would smile and remind me about all the things we have overcome in the past and how we will not only overcome this battle, but walk victoriously home. I’m thankful for one of my son’s teachers that reminded me that my home is not a school. I don’t have to run it like one. My home is a place of safety, security, and joy for John Michael; however, we are constantly learning in that space. She reminded me that I get to go back to basics. I can make our walks on the beach, cooking breakfast in the morning, our morning news briefings (I only update myself in the morning. I’d go crazy if I listened to the news 16 hours a day like my best friend), our projects around the house, our evenings playing board games and dominoes, and our relaxing time are all moments of learning, appreciation, and growing. I’m thankful to my friend that reminded me how lucky we are. We have to care for our children and parents and keep them safe. We do not have to drive to a hospital, police station, national guard building, or other profession that are on the front line of this virus.  I’m thankful for the friend that reminded me of the best “tool” of all, praying to God about it all and giving thanks that, while we are in the midst of the storm, joy, peace, and lives will someday return. Be covered in faith, not fear. In the meantime, my other tool is Pinot Noir. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay strong.

It’s November. The time for pumpkins, apples, books by the fireplaces, scarves, cute boots, and preparing for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. It’s also the month to be mindful of that in which we are thankful for. For me, 2019 has been a year that has been beyond exhausting and troublesome. I’ll spare you the reasons as to why and instead share with you the few tidbits that I’ve come to know for certain in these past eleven, overwhelming and unrelenting months.

• I know I rarely get it wrong when I make a decision trusting my gut. I know I always get it wrong when I make a decision based on what I think will gain the approval of others.
• I know moisturizer and sunscreen are my most complimentary friends.
• I know friends should always be quality over quantity.
• I know violins, rain on a metal roof, genuine leather, my children’s laughs, and a cork out of a bottle of Mumm Napa Brut are my favorite sounds.
• I know it’s not all about me. I know it’s not all about you either.
• I know that money spent on experiences rather than possessions always bring me more joy and memories than my Louis Vuitton handbag.
• I know tequila out of a turkey baster is just a bad idea.
• I know that God protects stupid.
• I know that most days life is a blessing. Somedays life is a lesson. And a few days out of the year life is just taking a hot shower,  washing the day down the drain, and starting fresh the next day.
• I know that everything tastes better when its made by mom.
• I know teaching is the most undervalued profession in America.
• I know that I will never learn to not buy a weeks worth of veggies on a Sunday only to throw them out the following Sunday while unpacking another weeks worth of veggies from the grocery store. I know I just eat the “family size” bag of chips instead.
• I know that if it’s a “hell yes”, then I should probably say… no, I should definitely say no… but, I know those are the times I’ll remember most.
• I know I’ve done all I can to undo me and God still won’t let me go.
• I know when I handle myself, I need to use my head more. I know when I handle others, I need to use my heart more.
• I know that I miss my daddy every single day and wish so badly he were still on this earth sitting with me on the back porch.
• I know that life in black and white is a lie … life is very, very, very gray.
• I know that there is not one relationship in my life more important than my relationship with Jesus Christ. He saved my life. No one will ever love me like Him.
• I know not to trust anyone who is rude to wait staff.
• I know that I use the “somehow this got in my spam folder” excuse way too often when I realize I’ve waited way too long to respond to an email.
• I know that age only matters when it comes to wine, cheese, or needing a fake id.
• I know that “laughter thru tears is my favorite emotion”.
• I know that my husband is lovely. My girlfriends are priceless.
• I know. I always know. So do you. Don’t waste time playing Monday morning quarterback.
• I know that I love to secretly diagnose everyone in the doctors waiting room while waiting for my appointment.
• I know I need to stop creating God in my image and let Him create me in His.
• I know I need to cut my spouse some slack. Same goes for him. Living with the same person day in, day out, and with all our little idiosyncrasies is hard. Kindness and understanding to each other shouldn’t be.
• I know my greatest place of joy will always be my greatest place of service.
• I know that if I had the energy and drive of my twenties, the guts of my thirties, and the brains of my today, I could conquer the world. But, I really like to sleep.
• I know I want to make my kids crazy when I’m old. I want to call the eighteen times per day while they’re at work. I want to ask them the dumbest questions, hang up the phone, call them again and say “what did you say?” I want them to freak out when they call me at 10pm and I don’t answer the phone. I want them to get in their car, drive to my home, be scared they’re going to find me on the floor dead, and then find me on the back porch laughing hysterically with four other eighty year old nut jobs. I want them to experience the joys they have brought to my life. I want them know that I will never be a little old lady and neither should they. I want them to know life is too short.
• I know I’m not truly gambling in life unless I buy an egg salad sandwich from a vending machine.
• I know life is too short to be anyone but myself. It’s the easy path to be like everybody else and mediocre. Being authentic and forging my own path is grinding. It takes balls. Texas bull size ones.
• I know Satan wins in two ways: discouraging me and convincing me to be afraid to the point I doubt myself.
• I know that “life is still worthwhile if you just smile”.
• I know that my perception of myself is Snoop Dogg meets Martha Stewart. My children’s perception of me is Beverly Goldberg meets Dorothy Zbornak.
• Finally, I know this above all. As much as I THINK I know, I still have much to know. Except that fried chicken and chocolate pie is always a good idea. That, I most definitely know.

WANT UNITY IN THE WORLD? COME PASS A GOOD TIME AT THE MARDI GRAS!

Everywhere else in the world it’s just a Tuesday, but today in New Orleans it’s                    FAT TUESDAY. Mardi Gras is almost over and preparations for Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season are beginning. As the day of purple, gold, and green is ending, I feel compelled to share with you just how important the Carnival season is for everyone. It’s meaning far surpasses beads, costumes, and king cake.

Naturally, there are always a few bad seeds in the mix. There are the small number of tourists who come to the city, get trashed and show their special parts on Bourbon Street because that’s what they’ve seen on television. That’s not my Mardi Gras. There are the small number of college kids who come by our tables set up with food and drinks to try and steal a few items to fill their stomachs. That’s not my Mardi Gras. There are the jackasses who run and intercept throws being thrown to little kids. That’s not my Mardi Gras. There are friends who arrive to a saved neutral ground spot empty handed that someone has been securing since the wee hours of the morning. That’s definitely not my Mardi Gras. A parade is no excuse to forget your Carnival etiquette. One always shows up to someone else’s spot with fried chicken and a king cake, for there is never enough of either. Or you can bring a gallon of daquiris, which is certainly an acceptable substitute for the Popeyes golden bird and the Randazzos melt in your mouth delight.

Next to the marching bands, my favorite part of Carnival season is this: during Carnival season, status is thrown out the window. Prestige is yesterday’s garbage. Clout is gulped down like a Pat O’Brien’s famous hurricane. Young mix with old. Different races second line together down St. Charles Avenue. Opposing political parties carouse together in the stands. People of diverse religious backgrounds revel in each other’s company. City leaders, like Mayor Mitch Landrieu and police chief Michael Harrison, dance in front of Gallier Hall with the ZULU Walking Warriors and grab parade goers to join in on moving their feet to the Mardi Gras Mambo. Upper, middle, and lower socioeconomic classes come together to catch a NYX purse or a MUSES shoe. There is little distinction in anyone.

Historians believe the first Mardi Gras took place in Mobile in 1703. In 1730, French settlers in New Orleans celebrated the season with masked balls, lavish dinners, and street parties. In 1892, REX, the King of Carnival, chose three colors to represent this special occasion in the Rex parade theme “Symbolism of Colors”. Purple stands for justice, gold stands for power, and green stands for faith.

Far before King Rex presented the symbolism of colors, Mardi Gras saw, and still sees, it’s share of controversy. Some believe it is a pagan holiday. At one time, not all krewes were integrated. Some believe it’s just a time to drink, party and sin as much as one possibly can. Therefore, when asked about the history of the Mardi Gras season, I suggest simply replying with, “It’s complicated. Just have another drink and start a second line.” To any sports fans, feel free to add “It’s believed that LSU took their purple and gold colors from the Mardi Gras flag, leaving Tulane with the lone green.” One thing we can all agree on, though, is that Mardi Gras is a unique time.

Mardi Gras is about slowing down. It’s about celebrating the blessings of life. It’s about relaxing and not having to worry about checking emails or returning phone calls. It’s about seeing children’s faces light up when they catch a stuffed animal or an Endymion football. It’s about coming together with family, friends, and strangers and passing a good time before the reverence of the Lenten season begins.

So, as I put the ladders, ice chests, costumes, purple wig, and bags of beads away until next season, I reflect on the significance of the past season since it began on the day of Epiphany. To some, Mardi Gras may be about partying, drinking, breasts for beads, gluttony, and getting every last sin out before it’s time to repent. Hey, I get it, Mardi Gras is pretty easy to condemn when viewed through that type of lens.

But, for me, Carnival season is about people. People God placed in my life. People God gave me an opportunity to meet on a parade route from all around the world and from my beloved city. The season is about people who use their talents to create the most beautiful floats, gowns that would rival any Hollywood red carpet, and parade themes that make you smile and remember the days of Pontchartrain Beach, the old K&B drugstore, the time when Saints fans wore brown, paper bags to hide their faces, the famous Mckenzies bakery or Pope John Paul II’s visit to the Big Easy.

Mardi Gras is about people who revert back to their inner childhood spirit. Mardi Gras is about neighborhoods preparing for the krewes of Endymion, Bacchus, and Orpheus, to roll in front of their homes by welcoming thousands of people they’ve never met. It’s about traditions, such as beignets at dawn and morning mass on Ash Wednesday in St. Louis Cathedral, going to Superior Grill or Pascals Manale before Bacchus, or heading to Tipitinas after Muses to listen to Kermit Ruffins. It’s about camping out next to people you don’t even know three days before your krewe of choice rolls just so you can get the perfect spot and by the end of the parade you have new best friends that you can’t wait to see next year.

Mardi Gras is about the joy of living. Mardi Gras is about krewes serving the public and community. For example, this year’s Zulu’s theme “STOP THE VIOLENCE” was painted on nearly every one of their priceless coconut throws. Mardi Gras is about judgement, division, and hatred disappearing. The season is about becoming a unified community that is a melting pot for all ages, sexes, races, sports allegiances, religions, sexual orientations, political beliefs, and bank account sizes. Mardi Gras is about life and all the people in it. Seems to me this would be a good thing every day, in every city, and with the same passion we practice while on Orleans Avenue awaiting those good looking cadets in their Citadel uniforms to lead the way for Endymion.

During Mardi Gras, the only things one is judged on is (1.) how well you move your feet when the famous St. Augustine marching band is playing in front of you and (2.) not ducking your face when you have a dozen ten cent beads from China being thrown right at your face because your “Throw Me Something Mister” signs is way better than the equally, crazy goofball next to you. So, in ending, Happy Mardi Gras, hail LIFE, and HUGE THANKS to the men and women in uniform that protect, tolerate and, sometimes, join in on the good times! Without them, Mardi Gras would be impossible.

“It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.” Mark Twain, who attended his first Mardi Gras at the age of 23 in 1859

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Laissez les bon temps rouler,

Lala

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine’s Day yesterday. I hope it was everything you wanted it to be spent with meaningful people in your life. I hope you were made to feel special and valued. But, mostly, I hope yesterday, and everyday, was filled with love.

Did the Beatles have it right? Is LOVE really all you need? Based on the past few weeks, and the activities going on in the world we live in, I sure hope so. Many days in the past six weeks of 2017, I’ve buried my head thinking love was missing from a lot going in the world. Passion sure isn’t missing – passion in protesting, passion in persisting and resisting, passion in refusing to listen to others, passion in not agreeing to just disagree, passion in yelling, name calling, and bullying, and passion in blaming others instead of fixing problems. But, as I was reminded last week when tornados swept thru my city of New Orleans, even in diverse, passionate differences, love is found.

I love many things. Besides the obvious, like my family and friends, I love lemon ice box pie, front porch swings, Carolina beach music, Mardi Gras, a great fitting pair of jeans, my children’s laughs, seafood gumbo, a man in a uniform, and a beautiful blue sky. These are inexpensive things to LOVE.

I also love to pay my mortgage, car note, insurance, other bills, and put money in savings and investments. I love to travel. I love going to sporting events and concerts. I love being able to have my children be involved in activities they want to experience and pursue. I love dining out for hours on a Saturday night with friends. These things are expensive. They require more than love.

What exactly is love? In Buddhism, love involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish love for others. UNSELFISH LOVE FOR OTHERS. CHECK.

The Christian view of love is God is love. Most Christians believe that the greatest commandment is the first commandment “thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength”.  The second commandment tells us, “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”. LOVE GOD AND LOVE OTHERS AS MYSELF. CHECK.

Hindu’s also believe “God is love”. LOVE in Hinduism, the world’s oldest religion, is a sacrament. It preaches that one gives up selfishness in love, not expecting anything in return. LOVE GOD WITHOUT ANYTHING IN RETURN? THAT COULD BE A TOUGH ONE. CHECK.

If you are a follower of Islam, then you know the prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: “You will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another.” LOVE ONE ANOTHER. CHECK. BUT, ONLY IF THEY THINK LIKE I DO, LAUGH AT MY JOKES AND COMPLIMENT ME ON MY NEW DRESS. DOUBLE CHECK.

In Judaism, one of the core commandments is “Love your neighbor as yourself”. This commandment stands at the center of the central book in the Torah. LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME? EASY PEASY. I’M SO EASY TO LOVE. CHECK. CHECK. CHECK.

If you do not look to religion for your definition of love, according to Webster’s dictionary love is defined as a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another. CONSTANT AFFECTION AND DEDICATION. Constant? That’s definitely going to be tough. It’s not always easy for me to be constant in my love with certain people, especially those Grammy voters. I mean, seriously, how could Bieber have not won anything Sunday night? It was all about Queen Bey and Adele and I’m like, “HELLO??? Did y’all not listen to Bieber’s album??? Yea, neither did I.”

Let me tell you my definition of love by telling you what I think life is like without love. I think people without love are like airplanes sitting on a runway without fuel. They can fly but they’ll never get off the ground. LOVE IS MY FUEL. Love is the constant reminder to myself that life is not about me. It is about something bigger, something better.

I am in sales for the most part of my professional day. Sales is a great profession. But, you have to have great tenacity and thick skin in order to survive in commission based only sales. It’s an entirely different beast because it gives one an entirely different perspective on how they react to situations that arise throughout the day. (Remember, last month’s post… it’s all about perspective!) I get beat up on regularly. When my clients do not hear the answers they want to hear, I get called every name in the book. That’s a tough situation to be in when “the customer is always right”! I have to forge through because I have to get the signature on the dotted line in order to pay my mortgage. Here’s why I do it. MONEY. If you’re on a moral high ground and shocked at my response,  please let me get you a ladder and help you down back to reality. You go to work for a paycheck as well; however, money is enough to get me through the really, really, really, hard times at work. It’s not worth it. But, LOVE is.

Not love for my customers, my product, my profession, or myself, and, by the way, I love all of those mentioned, especially the latter. But, I really do it because my children depend on my husband and I to take unprofessional moments and turn them into commission checks. When I want to fight back with a client, cry, hang up the phone in the middle of their frustration, or tell them they are flat out wrong, I don’t. I have people depending on me, so I do not have that luxury. Love does not pay my bills; however, it is my motivation to make sure there is always a roof over three little heads, even if two of those heads are eye rolling teens and one is a toddler whose favorite word is currently “NO!” Love gives me the boldness, and confidence, to take a breath, regroup, and let things go in one ear and out the other- the majority of the time. I am human. Sometimes, LOVE only goes so far.

When I was younger, I had a very special person in my life. I always referred to her as my “New Orleans Grandma”. Her name was Mrs. Rowena. She babysat me a lot. She took great care of me, loved me as her own, prayed for me, and always made time for me. But, she wasn’t that way with just me. Mrs. Rowena was the type of lady that offered help to others, not advice or preaching. She offered encouragement, not judgement. She offered kindness, not ridicule or embarrassment. If you were hungry, she fed you. If you needed to talk, she gave you her ear. If you needed help packing, she gave you her time. If you needed to cry, she gave you her shoulder. Mrs. Rowena was not rich, highly educated, a person of power, political, or known by thousands. But, when she died, she had a sanctuary room full people whom she had touched and who had felt her love.  To this day, when I think of her, I think of love. It is impossible to separate her from that word. Love was always in her actions. What a great legacy to leave the world!

Love allowed her to be kind in her actions. It allowed her to be bold in her faith. Love allowed her to be unique. Love allowed her to be graceful and thankful. Love allowed her to be content and live in the moment, yet determined to always hope for better. Love allowed her to spend her life being her- never trying to be anyone else or trying to keep up with anyone else. She knew God made her to be her. She loved the person God made her to be.

With our diverse religious, political, economic, educational, NFL team loyalties or favorite girl scout cookie backgrounds, have we reached a point in our society where we literally cannot like, much less love, those that believe differently from us? Instead of REACTING to everything we don’t like, maybe we could TAKE ACTION on things that would ACTUALLY make the world a better place- a loving smile to everyone who passes you, not flipping someone the bird because they cut you off in traffic, respect and love for others even if they do not respect or love you in return, confidence and love in ourselves, a helping hand to an elderly person carrying groceries, a look of understanding to a mom who’s toddler is having a tantrum in the restaurant instead of giving her a rude stare because she’s ruining your meal, taking cookies to a neighbor you’ve never met, or giving encouragement, instead of criticism, to your significant other?

In all five religions listed earlier in this writing, they all spoke of LOVE. Every single one of them have some form of love at the core of their practice. The definition of love is constant affection and dedication. I fail miserably at loving constantly. Love is not easy to give all the time. Love is not easy to receive all the time. But, we need to give love, and receive love, more than anything else we do in our lives. Love connects us, teaches us, forgives us, motivates us, reforms us, supports us, focuses us, and allows us to grow to be our best possible selves, so we can then in turn be the best for others.

Maybe it really is that simple. Maybe we, as society, have overcomplicated love because we feel agreement and respect are held in the same category. Maybe we can love others, but not respect their actions or agree with their beliefs – don’t faint- I know it’s a crazy thought.! LOVE. Love is the base, the fuel, the driving force everything worthwhile. Love for yourself, your beliefs, your fellowman, and your surroundings. “All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” I agree, John and Sir Paul. I agree.

 “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

 Laissez les bon temps rouler, Laura